Mindy Kaling and B.J. Novak might deny that they’re soulmates, but we have no doubt that they’re soup snakes. Ever since Mindy told us that B.J. is her daughter Katherine’s godfather, we’re incapable of doing anything but thinking about their very best moments. Here’s everything we know about their impressive, sometimes romantically-charged, and always loving 15-year friendship.
Let’s start all the way back in their early years ...
“We grew up 10 minutes away from each other, we just never knew each other. Kind of romantic actually!” she told a crowd during a conversation with B.J. at the 2015 BookCon.
That’s right. Mindy and B.J. could have been BFFs much earlier, as she grew up in Newton and her bestie was raised in Cambridge. B.J. moved closer to study at Harvard, but at that time, Mindy was starting her own studies at Dartmouth.
2004: Mindy and B.J. meet on the set of The Office.
In the dark times before The Office came into existence, Mindy and B.J. met when they were both 24 years old. Show creator Greg Daniels wanted writer-actors, and the two fit the requirement.
“We became friends when we were still super young, and also because we were working sometimes 16-hour days at The Office, and we did it for eight years,” Mindy said at the 2015 BookCon. “So it was like going to college twice together.”
Coming up in the industry together simultaneously proved to be the key to their solid relationship. And while working on a small writing staff, Mindy told Vulture in 2012 that they “kind of fell in love through doing that, and then dated on and off for a couple of years.” Mindy and B.J.’s on-and-off relationship lasted from 2005–2007, and then Mindy dated writer Benjamin Nugent from 2008–2012, according to E!.
Mindy and B.J.’s then-costar Rainn Wilson, who famously played Dwight, told Vulture that “To do an imitation of Mindy, all you need to do is just be constantly texting and saying, ‘Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!’ and then looking up and going ‘Where’s B.J.? They’re just best buds, so they often seem to be connected with an umbilical cord.”
2005–2013: Mindy and B.J. make art imitate life (sort of) as Kelly and Ryan.
Though their friendship has been incredibly enduring, their fictional characters Kelly Kapoor and Ryan Howard were less than stable. Their rocky romance on The Office was slightly troubling, as it seemed that Kelly was always pining after Ryan. Through plenty of on-screen breakups and makeups (everyone must remember when they hooked up on February 13), the chemistry was definitely there.
February 2015: We ask Mindy if she believed exes can be pals.
"I'm definitely not in the friends-with-my-exes camp,” she said in the interview for our February 2015 cover story. “But B.J. has the stamp for life as a friend. My mom loved him. He feels like family."
May 2015: She describes their relationship as “weird as hell.”
In an interview with InStyle, she said, "He is not my boyfriend, but he is not my best friend. I guess you could describe our relationship as a ‘romantically charged camaraderie with loud arguments,’ but I don’t think Facebook would accept this as a new status.”
May 2015: Their conversation at BookCon in 2015 was, well, everything.
Their chemistry led to a supportive friendship, which we continued to see in their public appearances long after the show’s last episode.
While promoting her second book Why Not Me? at the 2015 BookCon, Mindy and B.J. sat down to talk about it. It’s tough to pick what the best moment was, but it was probably this conversation about her show, The Mindy Project:
“My television show, the love of my life,” Mindy said.
“Thanks a lot,” B.J. quipped.
“The second love of my life!” she corrected.
September 2015: Mindy releases Why Not Me? and dedicates an entire chapter to B.J.
The title? "Soup Snakes," named after Michael Scott’s mix-up when he can’t read his own note in one scene (he meant to say “soulmates”). “We’re soup snakes. B.J. and I are soup snakes,” she wrote.
May 2016: Mindy and B.J. romance rumors continue.
While chatting with Andy Cohen on Watch What Happens Live!, Andy questioned their “friendship.”
“Really?” B.J. asked. “It’s so boring. It’s a great relationship of friendship and support and amusing each other.”
February 2017–2019: They attend the Vanity Fair Oscars party together ... three times!
They also appeared at the shindig in 2014, but they've been spotted together over the past three years.
2017
2019
August 2017: Mindy confirms her pregnancy.
The soon-to-be-mom said she was “really excited” to have a kid. She wasn’t romantically connected to anyone, and all the Mindy/B.J. fans went wild thinking about the idea of B.J. being the dad. To be clear, Mindy has never publicly identified her baby’s father (a move that we support 1,000%).
December 2017: Katherine Swati Kaling is born.
Mindy became a first-time mom just before Christmas 2017. She named her daughter after her mom Swati, who passed away from pancreatic cancer in 2012.
April 2018: Mindy tears up after B.J. honors her in a touching Instagram post.
While talking about her show Champions and the film A Wrinkle in Time, Mindy was brought to tears. Hoda Kotb inquired about B.J.’s Instagram post involving her movie poster:
“That’s really moving,” she said. “When I was coming up, there was no one who looked like me on TV or film, and that was such a nice thing that he remembered that. I’m legit crying.” (Did we mention she commented on the photo with a soup and snake emoji??)
May 2019: Mindy reveals that B.J. is Katherine’s godfather.
We really wanted to know if Mindy ever felt frustrated by all the gossip around her and B.J.'s relationship status. (Can’t a woman have a male BFF?!). And when Good Housekeeping got the chance to ask her directly, her answer was perfect:
“If I was on the outside looking at it, I would think the same thing,” she said. “But the truth is that B.J. is so much more like family now than a platonic friend. He’s the godfather to my daughter, he comes over like once a week. Sometimes he’ll come over just to hang out with her.”
And after all this time, she still doesn't consider B.J. an ex or best friend.
“In the When Harry Met Sally version of platonic friends, I too think that’s strange,” she also told us. “But when you’ve known someone for as long as I’ve known him — the time that we met each other, which was like 24. Now, we’re both almost 40. It’s such a long time that he truly is just a part of my family.”
Every single day: No one does social media quite like Mindy and B.J.
For as long as we can remember, we’ve found some of Mindy and B.J.’s best interactions are their conversations via Twitter and Instagram. Trust us: You’ll laugh, cry, and feel all the feels looking through them.
From celebrating National Best Friend Day…
...to supporting each other’s career ventures.
...and of course, their ongoing debate over whether Cookie Monster has a significant other.
Romance or not, these soup snakes are simply the best.
Blake Bakkila
Freelance Writer
Blake Bakkila has been writing about everything from pop culture to lifestyle products for more than eight years. Her work has appeared on GoodHousekeeping.com, WhattoExpect.com, Health.com, and in the print and digital versions of Real Simple and People.
